Being one of the kids

I have been thinking a bit recently about my own childhood. About how I became who I am, both for good and for ill. I have realised that many of my fears and worries now come from my erroneous belief that I am the one who has to be in control of my life; that I have to make things happen. After all, if I am not working to make life happen, who will?

Who knows when I started to think like this? All I know is that it is the root of much of my anxiety. I am noticing more and more that it also saps me of real hope. When I look at the world, the church and my life with my controlling mind I cannot help but feel hopeless. How could this mess ever come to any good? The answer of course is that it cannot as long as I am in control. But true hope rests not on the created order, of which I am a paltry part, but on the Creator who never changes.

My trouble is that I think way too much like an adult. In fact I think way too much like I am a god. I put myself in God's shoes and then spend all my time trying to control the world around me so that I can remain unharmed. As Bruce Almighty should have shown us - if not the 10 commandments - we were not cut out to be Gods, but kids.

And this is the secret to gaining access to both hope and peace. As with most of Jesus' teaching it is both simple and very difficult. See Mark 10.13-16 (NKJV).

"Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” 16 And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them."

It seems to me that Jesus is saying that the only ones who will enter the kingdom of God are those who are willing to become children. This seems to echo something of what he was saying to Nicodemus in John 3. Children are those who are willing to lay down control of their lives, allowing God to be the parent. These ones will be taken up into Jesus' own arms and cared for by him (v16).

Children trust in the goodness of their reality even to the point of naivete, living their lives in radical dependence on their parents. This can get them into trouble but it is the right sort of trouble to be in. There is a certain risk to living this kind of trust-filled life and it is certainly not for the faint of heart. Children are the courageous ones! But they are also lighthearted, hopeful, joyful, playful, kind and generous. This is the kind of life I want to pursue in 2009. May this new year be the year of radical dependence on God, the year of becoming a child once again!