Word of warning

"All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependance on the appreciation of others." Cyril Connolly

Rest

This month the wife and I are in the UK, resting and re-connecting before heading back to the USA for another year. We're enjoying seeing family and friends and generally getting a feel for the UK again.

It's an incredible gift to be able to rest for this month and we're grateful that our church has allowed us this time. I've found it surprisingly difficult to receive the gift of time and space though. I'm so used to producing, doing, managing and making - in my humble way - that it has become difficult to measure success without any output.

With all that stripped away I have found it hard to know how I'm doing, how I'm measuring up. That shows where I've been looking for my sense of worth I suppose. I think one of the most important reasons God likes us to rest is that when we rest we see who we truly are. All of the masks we've been wearing - teacher, leader, joker, friend - fall away. It's us and God and that's all. If there's not much between us and God it can be disconcerting.

I'm really being challenged to stop and listen, because listening is all that is left to do. I'm so desperate to do anything but listen though. I'd rather be shopping, interneting, reading or thinking - anything but listening. Through all of my wandering I sense that God is asking me for one thing, simply to wait and listen to Him. To find Him in the quiet place and to choose to let go of the other masks and go to him for the resources needed for all the work that needs to be done in the present and in the future.